Ryan's first real theater movie experience

So Ryan and Daddy went to see a movie today. A real one, at the theater. They saw Bolt. Ryan was mesmerized.

About halfway through, Daddy says, Ryan said, "This is the biggest TV I have ever seen!"

Then, on the way out of the theater, he said, "Daddy, can we get a TV like that for OUR house?"

Sounds like the big-screen TV obsession has started early!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

The unbearable burden of having a cute butt

So I'm sitting in the kitchen a few days ago, and Ryan walks up, turns around and drops his pants.

Ryan: I just want to show you my butt.

Mommy: Why?

Ryan: Because it is funny.

Mommy: Why is your butt funny?

Ryan (with a big sigh and resigned tone of voice): Because everybody loves it.


Yes, it's such a burden to have a butt that everyone loves. :-)

unbidital cord

Mommy: (pretending to bite Ryan's toes): I am going to eat your feet all up!

Ryan: NO! I need my feet to walk on.

Mommy: Then I will eat your hands all up.

Ryan: NO! I need my hands to grab things with.

Mommy: Then I will eat your neck all up.

Ryan: NO! I need my neck to wiggle my head around. (Wiggles head)

Mommy: Then I will eat your elbows all up.

Ryan: NO! I need my elbows to move my hands around. Like this. (Sticks out arms and wiggles hands.)

Mommy: Then I will eat your kneecaps all up.

Ryan: NO! I need my kneecaps to move my feet around. Like this. (Kicks out leg and shakes foot).

Mommy: Then I will eat your belly button all up.

Ryan: NO! I need my belly button to click my unbidital cord into.

Mommy: (laughing too hard to come up with another body part)

Keep in mind, this child is not yet three years old

Today in grandma's car, we passed a billboard with a picture of a saber-toothed tiger on it, advertising Natural Bridge Caverns. Then we hear this from the back seat:

"Why is that animal extinct? Why are they all gone? Why did they die? Why are there no baby saber-toothed tigers? Why didn't the saber-toothed tigers lay eggs so that they could hatch and baby saber-toothed tigers could come out?"

Things that go bump in the night

Ryan is a pretty fearless little dude. But he had his first real nightmare last night. He came to wake mommy up at 2:30 a.m., chin quivering: "Mommy. Wake up. A tractor crushed my toys." That must have been quite a dream. It took 20 minutes and two stories to get him back to sleep.

The night before, looking at picture books of animals, we started reading about a wolf. He looked up at me with his huge blue eyes full of fear and whispered, "Wolves blow down houses."

Why Oh Why

We're deep in the "why" phase now. Here's Ryan's side of a recent car conversation:

"Why is that skunk in the road? Is that skunk dead? Why is it dead? Why is it stinky? Why do skunks spray? Why do skunks spray Buddy? Why does he bark at the skunks? Do skunks have tails? Do skunks have bottoms? Do skunks poop? Why do they poop?"

... and so on, and so on.

Updated 7-16 with a sampling from another car ride:

"Did you buy this car? Why did you buy this car? Why do we need a car? Why do I have kneecaps? Did you run over that squirrel? Why are we going to Grandma's house? Why do you work? Why are all these cars driving on the road? Where are they going? Are they going to work? Are they going home? Where are their houses?"

And that was before we even got out of our own neighborhood.

Mommy, don't be scared, but ...

Suddenly and out of nowhere, while playing video games in the kitchen, this conversation:

Ryan: Mommy, don't be scared, but there is an airplane in my bedroom.

Mommy: There is an airplane in your bedroom?

Ryan: Yes. But don't be scared. It is not a real airplane. It is just a toy.

Poor Buddy

Ryan: I think we need a new woof woof doggie.

Mommy: But we already have a dog. What about Buddy?

Ryan: I think we should take Buddy and put him in the car and drive to the animal shelter. And then we can pick out another animal.

Mommy: But we love Buddy! Don't you think he would be sad?

Ryan: No. He would be happy.

The Low-way

Driving home from shopping today:

Ryan: Mommy, why do they call it a highway?

Mommy: I don't know. That's a good question.

Ryan: The highway isn't high. The highway is low.

Mommy: True.

Ryan: They should call it a low-way.

Driving back from Ama and Papa's house today

After Mommy commented on the kudzu vines strangling the trees along the road:

"I want to go to the Kud Zoo! Right now!"


Almost home, noticing the deer grazing on the side of the road:

Ryan: "When it rains, the rain deer come out."

Mommy: "What do reindeer eat?"

Ryan: "Green grass."

Daddy: "Right. And our flowers."

Ryan: "When the reindeer eat our flowers, they have to go sit on their naughty steps."

Ryan says the darndest things.

Ryan is getting very funny in his old age (he'll be 3 this August.) And he's always been a great talker. The older he gets, the funnier he gets. On this blog, I'll try to document and share some of the gems that make us laugh out loud!


At Ama and Papa's house this week

Spitting out chewed-up chicken onto the kitchen floor:
"This chicken has seeds in it."

Then, trying another piece:
"Mommy, does this piece have chicken seeds?"

When Ama pretended to run an "itsy bitsy spider" up his leg with her fingers:
"STOP! My leg is NOT a water spout!"

Driving toward the farm gate, Ama says that someone will have to get out and open it.
"I'LL DO IT!"

After tearing around Ama and Papa's house and causing Mommy to say in exasperation, "See what I deal with on a daily basis?!":
"My name is NOT Daily Basis. My name is RYAN."

Waking up Daddy, who passed out on the couch after traveling until 5 a.m. and getting four hours of sleep:
"WAKE UP DADDY. IT'S DAYTIME!"
"When the sun comes out and it's daytime, you're post to get up."

Sudden fascination with Spanish. Calling Buddy the Dog in Papa's yard:
"Come here BUD-ANITO!"

And of course, the ubiquitous:
"I WANT TO RIDE THE LRT! RIGHT NOW! COME ON PAPA! PUT YOUR SHOES ON!"

Driving through any wooded area on any given day:
"Mommy, is this the Hundred Acre Wood?"


Older stuff that comes to mind

After Daddy used a choice word to describe a driver who cut us off:
"Daddy, what is that bitch doing?"

In the backyard:
"Buddy is a very, very smart dog. He is a scientist, like Papa. Ama is smart too. She is a scientist too. Mommy is a scientist. And I am scientist, too."

What do you want to be when you grow up, Ryan? Do you want to be a farmer? An Astronaut?
"No. I want to be a scientist. Like Papa."

Driving with Ama and Papa past a herd of cattle:
"LOOK! It's a cow party! They hided their birthday cake in the field!"

During what felt like an endless drive across desolate West Texas, after a long period of silence, a sudden shout:
"WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE!"

On a prior trip to Ama and Papa's house:
"Papa has a big cow in his yard. I want to milk its udders!"

Favorite foods:
Opameal, Yodurt, Gimbies (raisins)

Where Daddy goes when he works:
Abazona

I know that you grandparents will remember other good ones ... send them to me so I can post them!